Maxwell May Have Ruined Christmas...

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Maxwell is in that really cute stage where he's losing his puppy teeth.  I've heard all the stories about this stage--the gap toothed grins, the rows of shark teeth, the incessant mouthy behavior. 

Surprisingly, Max has been really good about mouthing.  Of course "good" is all relative.  He still puts his mouth on everything he can reach.  He still chews holes in his stuffie toys to extract the polyfil, and he has managed to destroy the edge of the carpet bordering the tile from the breakfast nook to the living room.  But he hasn't chewed holes in any walls. 

Or any small children.

I count us lucky on both regards.

I managed to save a couple of his baby teeth before they disappeared off into that mystical land of spare socks, paper clips, and lost marker lids.  Of course I hid them away under the edge of Maxwell's blanket in his crate when I put him to bed.

Just in case.

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So imagine my surprise when a bonafide ruckus broke out in the middle of the night.  Maxwell was barking his very best "I've-got-something-cornered-and-it's-probably-going-to-make-great-blog-fodder" bark.

By the time I got out into the living room, Maxwell was out of his crate, barking at the fireplace.  Judging by the white feathers strewn everywhere, (and the 30 lb canvas bag of dimes), it could only have been one thing. 

That's right. 

The tooth fairy. 

(Incidentally, did you know there's about $20 in a pound of dimes?)

My guess?  Maxwell thought someone was trying to steal his Kong.

Bad idea.

Anyway, this morning I found a letter on the fireplace mantel.  It read as follows:

To the Occupants of (redacted for Internet security).

It has come to our attention that you are harboring a vicious and/or dangerous animal as defined in Section 35.07b of the Fairytale Code:  "...a vicious and/or dangerous animal is defined as an animal that displays the intent to deliberately maim, harm, or otherwise injure a member of the International Union of Fairybook Characters for Children (IUFCC)..."

This notice is to inform you that attendance of observed holidays by IUFCC members is no longer guaranteed.  As defined in Section 41.07c-1 of the Fairytale Code, "IUFCC members shall make one good faith attempt to visit a home known to be harboring a vicious and/or dangerous animal, but shall not put themselves in a position to sustain injury."

IUFCC members include, but are not limited to Santa Claus, Elves, flying Reindeer, Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, Boogiemen, and Leprechauns.

A follow up inspection is scheduled for 2 weeks from the date of this notice.  If the vicious and/or dangerous animal is still on the premises, the IUFCC will have no choice but to enact Section 41.07c-1 as stated above, and designate permanent status as a IUFCC-unfriendly home.

Oh Maxwell.

Not sure what I'm going to tell the kids.

In other news: 

For Sale:  One Canvas Bag of Dimes.  Worth approximately $6000.  Will sell for cheap.